February 17, 1999

We pulled into the driveway. We were meeting at our friends house for a bible study. After the study we were going to celebrate my husband's birthday. I had come out earlier in the day to bring the party goods. It was going to be a good night. A fun and simple birthday celebration following bible study.

As we pulled into the driveway, Chris came out the door. He was crying. He told us the news. The police had just left. There had been an accident. Tina and Caitlin had been killed.

No one is ready for this news. No one is ready to hear that a friend has been killed. Let alone that her eleven year old daughter was dead too. It takes a while to even process news like this. It is weird and confusing and makes you feel as if you are dreaming.

I remember one of the first things I did after hearing the news was start to clean up the birthday party stuff. That was weird too. Here we were planning a party to celebrate my husband's life and two lives were gone.

I stayed there all night. That was the only night I can ever remember where I stayed up all night long. It was an endless night full of every kind of emotion. It is a night I will not forget.

Time is such an interesting dimension in life. In some ways, that night seems like a lifetime ago. So much in my life has changed since then. It seems so far away. And in other ways, it seems like just yesterday. I still remember in detail so much of that night. So many emotions from the grieving process. And then there are the memories of Tina and Caitlin which still come rushing back. Tears still come to my eyes.

I still miss her and her authenticity. Her spiritual perspective. Her giving spirit and her willingness to help others. And of course her laugh. She had an amazing laugh.